Human
by Drew Rogers
Summary: A psychodrama in 5 parts, based on the characters and events of Silent Hill 2.
1. Red

Silent Hill: Human

A Novel

by Drew Rogers

Based Upon The Video Game "Silent Hill 2" by Konami

Part One

A Plucked Violet

Chapter One

Red

There it was. It was all over.

I stared down at him, on the floor. Not at his face, but at his hands, contorted and grotesque. Those hands. I shuddered. I let my eyes travel over his neck, still pumping his vile essence all over my parent's bedroom floor. My hands were clammy, and I was sweating heavily. I began to tremble, maybe from the exhileration of the act, or from shock, or fear. Maybe it was a combination of all of them. There was no turning back.

What have I done?

He deserved it. Fucker.

The knife slipped from my hand and fell to the carpet. I stared down at it. The glint of the sunlight streaming in from my window. It was as if I was seeing it for the first time. It was beautiful, but kind of scary at the same time.

My thoughts cleared, and I slowly came back to life. I sighed heavily, and sat down on their bed, still mussed up from what had occured shortly before. I looked down at my clothes. They were stained with his blood. So were my hands.

He was on me. I had to get him off. Get him off. Get off me! Get off me!

I stood and walked shakily, but calm, mind you, into their bathroom, and turned on the sink. I left a crimson streak on the white plastic taps. I thrust my hands under the tepid water. The light pink water swirled slowly around the sink, and into the dark hole in the center.

Holes. I shut my eyes and let out a single loud, wrenching sob. I fell to my knees, and my wet hands slid from out of the sink and into my lap. I listened to the water running for a few minutes, then looked at my hands. They were still pinkish with his blood. I turned them over and examined my nails. There was still blood under my nails. I jumped to my feet again and scrubbed desperately under them, trying to rinse him away. But I couldn't. I couldn't.

"GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" I screamed. I began to cry again. Frustrated, I shut off the water, then stumbled back into their room. I wasn't looking where I was going, and tripped over him. I landed hard on top of him, and my face plunged into the widening pool of blood by his neck. I gasped, and scrambled backwards from him. My face was covered in him now. Some of it ran down my face and into my gaping mouth. I gagged and spit it out. I then looked at him and screamed.

Holy shit. He was dead.

I......killed him.

I continued screaming at the top of my lungs as I got to my feet and ran from the room. I took the stairs too fast and nearly fell down them. I managed to catch my balance but collapsed to the floor once I was at the bottom. I got sick all over the floor, then pushed myself into a sitting position against the stairs. My hair was in my eyes. I pushed it behind my ear. It was wet and greasy.

I needed to shower.

I got to my feet and made my way into the bathroom down the hall, near my front door. I decided on a bath. I was unsteady on my feet at best. I turned on the water, made sure it was a good temperature, then closed and locked the bathroom door. I pulled my blood-stained clothes off and threw them in a heap near the door. As the bath filled, I looked at my naked self in the mirror. I scowled as I took myself in. I was hideous. Disgusting. Worthless.

How had he found me attractive? How could anyone fuck me? I ran my hands across my abdomen. I was sore. I felt suddenly nauseous.

I got lost in my self-loathing, and before I knew it the bathtub was close to overflowing. I cursed and turned the water off quickly.

I stepped in and lowered myself into the water. The warmth felt wonderful on my skin. Rinse it all away, I thought, leaning my head back and breathing in the heat. I sat there for an indeterminate amount of time, then slowly lowered my head into the water. Everything went quiet. Even the buzz that accompanied silence was gone. I opened my eyes and saw the water was turned a light pink. I shuddered, and fought against getting out. I needed to get clean. My lungs began to hurt. I needed air.

Maybe I should just stay down here.

I reached my breaking point, and my survival instinct won out. I burst out of the water, gasping. I pushed my matted hair out of my face and leaned back against the back of the tub, my heart racing.

Mom and Brian would be back from the supermarket soon. My heart skipped a beat. I had to clean up!

I got to my feet and jumped out of the tub. I didn't bother letting the water out, and ran, naked and panicking, up the stairs back to their room. I wouldn't let myself look at him for the time being. I focused on the knife, still on the carpet. I picked it up and looked around, my mind racing. What should I do with it? Should I return it to the knife block in the kitchen? No, I couldn't do that. If they didn't find out it was the one she had used, Mom might prepare food for the family with it. The idea of eating food cut by this knife made my stomach leap again, and I doubled over. There was nothing left in my stomach, though, and I just dry heaved. I broke out in a cold sweat. I looked between my legs, behind me to where he lay. His head was tilted, and it looked like his eyes were staring straight up my ass.

"STOP LOOKING AT ME!" I screamed. I whirled around and buried the knife into his chest once more. I grabbed his head and slammed it repeatedly into the carpet. My rage subsided, and I retrieved the knife and retreated to the corner of the room. I curled my legs up to my chest and, still clutching the knife, began to rock back and forth, my eyes still on him.

Time passed. Once again I had no idea how much. I heard the deadbolt on the front door slide open and the door opening. My mother and Brian were home. I heard them chatting downstairs.

"Can you believe that cashier? Trying to short-change me like that?" My mother sounded irritated.

"I don't think she meant to, Mom." Brian always disagreed with Mom when she got pissed off at someone. It was like he felt the need to stand up for the person since they were not present.

"Yeah, right. How stupid do you have to be to not be able to give someone the right change. The computer tells her how much she has to give me. All she has to do is give it to me. I swear to God...."

I listened to them chat as they put the groceries away. Finally I heard my mother walk into the hallway. "Angela! Thomas! I'm home! Sorry I'm so late! I...." The footsteps stopped suddenly. "What the hell....?" I heard her say. She must have seen my sick all over the floor at the foot of the stairs. "Angela? Thomas? Where are you? Are you okay?"

I didn't reply, and I heard my mother rushing up the stairs. Seconds later she appeared in the doorway. Her eyes traveled around the room, settling first on me. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw me, naked and clutching a butcher knife, huddled in the corner of the room. She took a step into the room and opened her mouth to say something when her eyes finally shifted from me and to the mangled body in the center of the floor.My mother began to scream. I shut my eyes and began to laugh.


	2. Making Friends

Chapter 2

Making Friends

It wasn't always like this, please believe me when I say that. I can remember a time not too long ago when I was happy. I recall, looking back, bright sunny days and playing with my best friend Melissa after school at the park. I remember baking apple pies with my mother. I remember my father teaching me how to ride my bike. I remember my treehouse, with real windows and a table and chairs and everything inside.

I miss those days so much. If only.....if only he hadn't started.....

I'm getting ahead of myself. I think the best way to make you understand is to go back to the very beginning. The turn of events that started this snowballing to this point, with me naked and laughing like a lunatic while my mother is screaming her head off, staring at the man I just butchered on the floor of her room.

Yes, that's the best way.

In that case, the real beginning of this sad, tragic tale is when I was nine and in the fourth grade. I think it was a Friday....

I looked up from my page of doodles as the final bell rang. I saw William Strong looking at me, and I gave him a shy smile. He looked flustered and looked quickly down at his hands, which were folded on his desk. His books were all closed. Just how long had he been staring at me? And why?

My face turned red and I heard hushed giggling from the other direction. I looked over and saw Tara Baker and her best friend Sarah Munn with their hands over their mouths, trying to surpress laughter. Why were they laughing at me?

What was going on here?

I realized I was still sitting at my desk looking like a stunned goat while everyone was gathering their bags and lining up at the door to leave. I crammed all my books into my backpack and walked to the line, my head down, trying my best not to make eye contact with anyone. I was feeling uncomfortable, and didn't want to draw any more attention to myself. Not that anyone usually paid any attention to me. I was a loner. For some reason the other kids didn't seem to like me very much. Melissa had moved out of Silent Hill earlier this year. I wasn't too upset, though. It's not like they were vicious all the time to me or anything. They just......ignored me.

Most of the time. There were exceptions. Today seemed to be one of them.

As I stood in line at the door, waiting for Mr. Renaldo to dismiss us, I heard amongst the hushed whispers of my classmates my name. I tried not to show any outward signs of upset. They might not necessarily be saying anything bad about me. Finally Mr. Renaldo waddled to the door.

"Okay, class, does everyone have all their homework ready?"

"Yes, Mr. Renaldo," I droned with the rest of the class.

"Okay, then, have a nice weekend. Stay out of trouble and I'll see you all again on Monday."

The line moved quickly, and a short time later I was exiting Midwich Elementary School and on the bus, ready for the long ride home. I lived on the other side of Toluca Lake, in the small area of town known as South Vale. My family and I lived in a large apartment building called Bluecreek, in Room 109.

I was the last stop for the bus, so it was getting close to 4 o'clock by the time I got home. My mother took my backpack and began unloading all my books and stuff, and emptying my lunchbox of what I hadn't eaten. She told me to go wash up and that supper would be ready soon. After I washed my hands, I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed something odd. There were two smallish bumps on my chest. I hadn't noticed them before. I was wearing a brand new shirt that my mother had bought for me last week for the first time, and it was tighter than the usual T-shirts I wore.

I was growing boobs.

Was that why everyone else was looking at me and treating me oddly? I hadn't noticed them before, but apparently they had been growing for a bit. I froze, not knowing whether to be glad or upset.

I decided not to worry about it too much for now. Nothing I could do about it. If it was happening, it was happening. Hopefully everyone would forget about it by Monday.

I turned off the bathroom light and sat down on the living room sofa. "Where's Brian?" I asked my mother. Brian was my older brother. He was thirteen, and went to St. Jennifer High School, a combination junior high school and high school in Central Silent Hill, the industrial area of town.

"He's going to a movie with his friends tonight. He won't be home until eight or so."

I was disappointed. Brian was the closest thing I had to a friend since Melissa had moved away. However, lately he was spending less and less time at home. I hoped he wasn't going to go away, too.

I watched TV for a half hour until my mother called me into the dining room for supper. I noticed that there were only two places set at the table. "Dad's working late tonight." Mom said, noticing my puzzled expression. "They're building a new house across town and he needs to get the wood ready." My father was a lumberjack, and he worked at the lumberyard nearby.

So it was just my mother and me for the rest of the night. Brian called at 7:30, telling us he was going to be staying over at one of his friends' house for the night. My mother and I watched some stupid sitcoms until my father got home. I was bored, so I decided to go do some of my homework so I could relax this weekend. I'd say hello to Dad first, though. I walked over to him. "Hi, Daddy," I said. "How was your day?"

My father looked from my mother to me. "Hey, sweetheart! How are...." My father trailed off. I noticed his gaze flicker down from my face for a second.

Oh, my God! He had seen my breasts! I suddenly felt ashamed and embarassed. "I'm good!" I blurted. "I'm going to go do some homework now." I turned and ran into my room and slammed the door. I stood with my back to the door, panting, hoping he wasn't going to be upset with me or anything.

But why would he be upset with me? It's not my fault.

I sat down on my bed and realized that my books and stuff were still out on the coffee table in the living room. I'd have to go back out there to get it. Hopefully my father and mother were in the kitchen or something. I was embarassed about my outburst and didn't want to see either of them so soon. I quietly opened my room and crept into the living room. As I entered the room, I saw that they were both sitting on the couch, talking. Poo. No choice but to make my presense known. I walked slowly into view, not making eye contact. I gathered my books off of the coffee table, feeling their eyes on me. As I turned to go, my father cleared his throat. "Angela, honey, is something the matter?"

"Huh? Oh, uh, no, nothing. I'm sorry!"

"I was just about to comment on how lovely you look in that new sweater when you ran off. Did something happen at school today?"

My sweater? I looked down at it. Of course! This was the first day I had worn it! He had been looking at my sweater! "Oh! No, Dad, nothing bad happened, if that's what you mean. It's just been a long week, ya know? I'm going to go work for a bit, then go to sleep, okay?"

My father nodded. "Be sure to have lights out by ten." My mother said.

"I will, Mom. Good night!" I left the room, feeling much better,

I did my Math and Social Studies homework, then got ready for bed and turned out the light. I was feeling very relieved. It had just been a false alarm. Hopefully things will be better on Monday when school starts again, I thought. Surely it would. I mean, so I was getting breasts. It couldn't be that big of a deal, right?

I couldn't have been more wrong.

The weekend passed by uneventfully enough. I got all my homework done by Saturday afternoon and had Sunday to myself. I finished the book I was reading, so to keep me from getting too bored and to reward me for getting everything done so early, my mother took to me Rosewater Park for Sunday afternoon. It was a bright May afternoon, so I brought my kite, and flew it for a short while and then had a picnic with my mother.

As I was finishing one of the mini-sandwiches she had made, I looked up and saw Mom looking at me with a serious expression on her face. Uh, oh, I thought. This was always the look my mother put on when she wanted to have a serious discussion. "Angela," she began, her voice pleasant but serious, "I think I have an idea of what caused you to be upset Friday night."

"Hmm? What are you talking about, Mama?" I tried bluffing my way out of it by using my endearing term for my mother.

"You know what I'm talking about, and don't 'Mama' me. You seemed distant when you came home from school that day, and then you got upset at your father for no reason whatsoever. I think I know why."

Oh, no. Here it came. A breast discussion with my mother. Wonderful.

"It's about Brian, isn't it?"

My mouth dropped open. Was my mother serious? Surely she had noticed them on Friday. I mean, she was my mother. It was her job to notice things like that. "Huh?" is all I could say.

"I mean, since Melissa moved away he's really all you've had for a friend, and now that he's going out and spending more time with his friends, you feel abandoned by him." My mother smiled sweetly at me. "Honey, he's not abandoning you at all. You're his sister, and he loves you very much. I hope that you know that. It's just that he's getting older, and hanging around with his little sister isn't going to appeal to him as much as it used to. I know you two were always close, but surely you understand that, right?"

I said nothing. I merely nodded.

"Honey, you've gone into your shell too much since Melissa left. You need to try and reach out and make some new friends at school, okay? Everybody needs a friend. Promise me you'll try, okay?"

Dumbfounded, I nodded again. "Okay, Mama, I'll try."

"Good. Now, let's enjoy our picnic."

As I lay in bed that night, trying to get to sleep, I thought carefully about my mother's words to me. Maybe she was right. I hadn't really talked to anyone that much since Melissa left, and I was a little too dependent on Brian, too.

Maybe it wasn't my chest that was making people treat me badly. Maybe I was just being too much of a loner. Maybe it made me look like I was a mean person. I didn't want to be thought of as a mean person. That was it. Tomorrow I was going to try and make a new friend. But who? Maybe William. He had been looking at me on Friday. Maybe he wanted to be friends.

I clutched my teddy bear tightly, excited at the thought of making a new friend.

Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

I didn't have much time to try and talk to William the next day until recess. He got up quickly and left the room as the bell rang, signalling the end of Art class. I still had my glue and construction paper strewn all over my desk, so I didn't make it out of the room for a few minutes after the bell. I hurried downstairs to the courtyard, hoping to find William there. I didn't know where he went at recess, so I hoped he'd be there.

I stepped into the crowded courtyard and scanned the faces there for him. There were way too many kids at this school. I didn't know why they hadn't built a new one over in Paleville. After all, it was such a long way from home, and there were quite a few of us who went to Midwich from there. We could really use a new school. Brian's school was nicer than this. It was only a few years old, and had more than enough room for everyone.

I didn't see William anywhere. My heart sank. I spied Tara and Sarah across the courtyard, over by the big clock tower in the corner. I cast a quick look downwards as I walked across the big, weird, ugly symbol that was carved into the stone walkway in the center of the courtyard. It always made me feel nervous walking on it, for some reason. It looked like a weird geometry diagram, and I didn't know why it was there or what it meant. No one else seemed to notice it or be bothered by it, so I felt silly as I sped up to get off of it quicker.

Tara and Sarah looked up at me as I walked over to them. "Hi, Tara! Hi, Sarah!"

Tara and Sarah both blinked and looked at each other before Tara answered me. "What?"

"Have either of you seen William around?"

"William....?" Sarah said, a puzzled look on her face.

"Yeah. William Strong. I wanted to talk to him."

They looked at each other again. "Uh....I think I saw him go outside in the direction of the playground." Tara said.

"Okay, thanks a bunch, you guys! See you later!" I smiled and waved as I hurried back across the courtyard, through the school lobby and the double doors leading to the outside of the school. I walked around the side of the school to where the playground was. I looked around and saw him on the swingset, on the farthest swing from me. I called his name and walked over to the swings. He looked up at me, looking startled. I gestured for him to come over to where I was. He looked annoyed. I didn't blame him. There were only six swings, and they were always hard to get. He had rushed out of class to get it, probably.

"What do you want, Angela?" He said as he stopped a few feet in front of me, not unkindly.

"I'm sorry, William, I know how hard those swings are to get, but I just wanted to talk to you for a minute."

"Me? What about?"

"Nothing really." I smiled at him. "I just want to talk."

William looked back at the swings, and when he saw that his swing had already been taken, he looked back at me. He sighed. "Alright. Do you want to go back to the courtyard?"

I thought about the symbol and shivered again. "No. Um....let's go around back. You know that hill we slide on in the winter? It's beautiful there right now. Lots of dandelions and stuff out. We can sit and talk there."

William nodded, and followed me to the hill. I enjoyed the talk, but I did most of the talking. He just listened. He didn't seem particularly interested in what I had to say. The bell soon rang, and he got up and ran off back to the school without saying anything. I frowned, feeling sad. Maybe he wasn't interested in being friends with me. I shook my head and tried to push my sadness away. I could make someone else as a friend. If he wasn't interested, it was his loss. Besides, he was a boy, and the boys here didn't really get around with the girls very much. I'd make a girl friend. I stood up and nodded to myself. No reason to feel sad.

I realized I had been standing here thinking for two minutes. I was going to be late for Math class! Panicked, I ran back to the school.

Mr. Renaldo hadn't started the lesson yet when I entered the room, so I was relieved about that. I then noticed that everyone was looking at me. Was it just because I was late? I had been late before. It wasn't that odd. I looked down at my loose T-shirt. It wasn't my chest again, was it? No, they weren't even visible in this shirt. I heard muffled giggles. My cheeks flushed and I walked to my seat and sat down. I pulled out my Math notebook and went quickly over the problems I had done on the weekend. I think I actually got them all right, for once. I heard another giggle and looked up. It was Tara and Sarah.

Mr. Renaldo then walked to the front of the room and everyone went quiet again. I looked at William as he began talking, and was surprised to find that he had his head in his hands. Was he not feeling well? After ten minutes or so, when Mr. Renaldo turned his back to write on the board, I whispered, "William!"

He looked back at me, and I almost gasped in surprise. His cheeks were streaked with tears, and his face was full of hatred. He glared at me, then turned back and buried his face in his hands again. I looked around the room, wondering what had happened to him, and saw Tara and Sarah looking at me. Tara smirked at me and then started to giggle. Sarah followed suit.

After Mr. Renaldo gave us the assignment for the day, he told us to be good while he went to use the washroom. I opened my notebook and began to work on the first problem when a shadow fell over my paper. I looked up and saw Jennifer Palmer standing by my desk. Jennifer had been a friend of Melissa's, too, but we had never gotten around together.

"Hi, Jenny." I said, wondering why she had an anxious look on her face.

She crouched down and leaned in close to whisper to me. "Angela, is it true what Tara and Sarah are saying?"

"Huh? What are you talking about?"

"They said they saw you take William behind the school at recess. They said they followed you guys and that they saw you......" she leaned in even closer and quickly finished her sentence. "They said you put his thingy in your mouth."

I recoiled in horror. "What?!" Everyone in the room turned to look at me.

"They said they saw you do it, Angela. Did you?"

"No!" I shouted.

I left Jennifer at my desk and stormed over to Sarah and Tara. "What are you guys doing saying stuff like that about me?!" I screamed. "It's not true!"

Tara scowled at me. "We know about people like you, Angela. You're just a filthy slut. We're just letting other people know."

"What?! I am not a slut! What have I done to make you think I am?! I just talked to William, that's all!"

"Maybe. But, I mean, look at you! We saw you on Friday, in that tight little sweater. You're a slut. We hate you, and you're a slut."

I began to cry. I looked around at the rest of the class, begging for a little support. "Hey, Angela! Want to come over to my house after school? My parents won't be home until five!" Jeffrey Findlay yelled. Everyone in the class burst into laughter. I began to sob, and ran crying from the room. I ran out of the school and up Midwich Street, sobbing uncontrollably. How could they say such terrible things about me?! I needed to call Mom and get her to take me home. There was a payphone at the convenience store nearby. I fumbled in my pocket and was relieved to find a quarter.

As I approached the store, I remembered that Mom was not at home today. She had gone on a field trip at Brian's school as a supervisor. I began to panic. I couldn't go back to school! Maybe I could try Dad.

I put the quarter into the phone and dialed the lumberyard, praying that he wasn't in the woods today.

"Hello, Wilson's Lumberyard." I recognized my father's boss' voice.

"Is Thomas Orosco there please?" I gasped in between sobs.

"Uh, yeah, he is, just a sec." He sounded uncomfortable. Probably wondering why a crying girl was calling one of his employees.

"Hello?" My father came on the line a few moments later.

"Daddy! Oh, God, you need to come pick me up right now! I'm at the 8 convenience store on Finney Street! Please!"

"Angela? Is that you? What's wrong, honey?"

"I don't want to talk about it! Please just come and get me!"

"Okay. Let me tell my boss that it's an emergency and I have to go. But you tell me what happened on the way home, okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay. Stay there, Angela. I'll be there soon. Hold tight." Then he was gone.

I managed to get my tears under control and sat on the curb outside the store, waiting for my father to get there.

In a very short time I was going to wish I had just stayed at school.


	3. Viol

Chapter 3

Viol

I sat on the edge of the parking lot for about fifteen minutes, my head buried in my lap, sobbing my eyes out. How could the kids at school be so vicious? What had I done to them? How could I ever go back there after all that? How could I face them again? My life was over.

I sniffled and lifted my head. No, I couldn't let this get to me. My life wasn't over. I still had my family. My father was on his way to rescue me, and we could figure out what to do about this together, later. I grinned bitterly to myself. My daddy would help for sure. He'd bust into that school and teach that mean ol' Tara and Sarah something for sure. He'd straighten things out. That's what fathers did.

No need to worry. Everything would be alright.

What I felt most badly about was how poor William had been dragged into this mess. It was my fault. Now people were saying these awful things not only about me, but about him too. He was as much a victim as me. I needed to make sure to do something to make it up to him. Or would that just make things worse? Maybe it'd just be best to never have any contact with him ever again.

Poor William.

I unfolded my legs from my chest and tried to steady my nerves. As I sucked in a deep breath of air, my T-shirt stretched tight against my chest. I flicked my eyes down and saw my offensive breasts were visible. I gasped and quickly slouched forward, obscuring them once again underneath the fabric of my shirt. It was all because of these damn things. That's why everyone was being mean to me. That's why everyone was treating me coldly.

Did having them automatically make me a slut? No. It couldn't be that. All women have them. My mother has them. All women weren't sluts.

Were they?

My father's brown Honda came into view as it turned into the parking lot. It pulled into the spot next to where I sat and my father rolled down his window.

"Angela, honey! You okay? Get in, and I'll take you home."

I staggered to my feet and ran around to the passenger's side and climbed in, fastening my seatbelt as my father pulled out of the parking lot. As we drove, my father began to question me.

"So, Angela, what happened? You promised to tell me."

"Oh, Daddy! It was horrible! Mom took me to the park on the weekend and told me that I needed to reach out and make new friends. I took her advice and tried to make friends with a boy at school, William Strong. But everything went wrong. These two girls in my class, Tara and Sarah, they spread rumors that I did bad things with William! And everyone laughed at me!"

My father was silent a moment. "They said you did 'bad things' with this William boy?"

"Uh-huh."

"What kind of 'bad things'? Did they say that you hit him? That you pushed him? You know your mother and I taught you that violence is wrong."

I shook my head adamantly. "No, Daddy, not _those_ kinds of bad things. They said I did.....you know.....bad things."

My father frowned and glanced quickly at me. "You don't mean bad things as in something sexual, do you?"

I grimaced at my father's use of the word. When my parents had taught me about sex, they had avoided using those types of words. I had been a "birds-and-bees" child through and through. "Yes." I said, very quietly.

My father grunted disapprovingly. "Why would kids in your class be saying that you did things like that?" My father glanced at me again. "You didn't, did you?"

"No!" I shouted, dismayed. "How could you even think that I might?"

"I didn't!" My father said quickly. "I just can't imagine why kids your age would spread filthy lies like that. When I was young, kids didn't even know enough about that kind of thing to say things like that."

"But what am I gonna do? I can't go back now. I just ran out of there after screaming at them. How will I ever be able to show my face there again?"

We were now heading south around the lake to South Vale. I looked past my father to the water. It calmed me, somewhat.

"Angela," my father continued, "what they said wasn't true. Why are you so worried?"

"You don't understand. Even if it's not true, people will make fun of me so badly for it. I think some of them believe it, too. And they teased William about it, so he hates me now as well. I miss Melissa. Since she left, I've had no friends."

"I know you miss her, honey. But she's gone, and living in the past won't do any good. Look, don't worry about it for now. We can sort it later. For now, let's just get you home."

My father parked the car on the street near the apartment complex, and in a few minutes we were back in our apartment. I headed for the living room. Some TV might help me take my mind off of things. As I started walking, however, I felt my father's hands firm on my shoulders. "Angela, come with me for a second."

He led me into my parent's bedroom. I was confused. What was he doing?

He led me to the long mirror on the wall of my parent's bedroom. He stood behind me as I looked at myself in it. My eyes were all red from crying, and I had these weird red splotches all over my face.

"Angela, the other day, when you got upset at me after I came home from work? I don't think you were just stressed out that day. You saw me look at you."

I looked into my father's eyes in the mirror and nodded.

"You were upset that I noticed. I did notice, Angela. You are growing up. You're getting older. You're......developing. It's nothing to be ashamed of, even if the other kids find it strange or frightening. Most girls your age aren't developing like you yet. That is why they are being mean to you. They are jealous. Or scared. They might be a little confused, too."

I nodded again. My father stared into my eyes in the mirror. I returned his stare. He was right. It was my breasts that were the problem. But it wasn't my problem. It was theirs.

"Thanks, Da--" I began.

"Angela, take off your T-shirt." My father said suddenly.

"Huh?" Did he just say what I thought he said?

"You heard me." His tone of voice had changed. He was no longer speaking in a comforting tone, but in a demanding one. His facial expression had changed, too. He was glaring at me now. "Take off your shirt."

I didn't understand. My heart began to race. Why was I suddenly so uncomfortable? He was my father. I didn't need to be scared. But why was he asking me to do this? He must have a good reason to, though. I did as he said. I looked at myself in the mirror. I looked....strange. I didn't like them.

"Yes.....that's good..." My father murmured. I looked back at his face, and saw his eyes flick from my breasts back to my face.

"What did you say?" I asked. Something was wrong here. But what?

"Angela, look at yourself. Look at them. See that they are normal. A little odd-looking to you, I'm sure, but they are normal. They are nothing to be afraid of. Neither you nor the other kids at school have anything to fear from them. They are.....beautiful."

I said nothing. Warning signals were blasting in my brain. Something was desperately wrong here. I gasped as I suddenly felt cold hands on me. On them. My father had reached around and grabbed my chest from behind. "No!" I shouted, grabbing his hands and wrenching them off of me. "What are you doing?" I yelled, wheeling around and backing up against the mirror.

"Only what you are asking for, Angela. You wore that tight little sweater to lure me. To lure them, too, whether or not you realize it. Oh, it's been so long since your mother has let me touch her like that."

What was he doing? What was he talking about? "I'm not asking for anything! Mom bought me that sweater! I had nothing to do with it! What are you saying?"

He took a step towards me. "You know that you want it, Angela. It's human nature. We all want it. It's nothing to be ashamed of, either." He reached out for me again, and I screamed.

The next second I felt a sudden burst of pain on my right cheek. My head also snapped to the left. He had slapped me. I put my hand to my cheek and looked back at him, my vision blurring from tears. "What--?" I began.

"Don't scream, Angela. Please. I don't want to hurt you."

Then a sudden blur of movement. I found myself flying face-first into something soft. I blinked tears out of my eyes and saw the mirror. My father had thrown me behind him onto the bed. I saw him move around the bed to where my legs were. In a sudden, horrifying moment, I suddenly understood what was going on. I began to shiver, and a panic attack began to set in. I shut my eyes as I felt my shoes and jeans being removed. I needed to get away. I needed to get help. Why was he doing this? My father had always seemed so nice. He never seemed to be the violent kind at all. I tried to get up but I felt him push me roughly back down. I heard a rustling behind me from where he was.

I opened my eyes and looked into the mirror at him. I saw what he was doing and fought hard not to scream. I shut my eyes again, sobbing quiet tears and choking on my own muffled cries. I braced myself, but nothing could have prepared me for the horrible, stabbing pain that suddenly shot through what seemed to be my entire pelvic region. I bit down on my tongue, fighting not to scream, but in a few moments the pain began to stab even worse through me. It now seemed to shoot down to the tips of my toes and up my spine.

I couldn't take it any more. I opened my eyes, hoping to God that he wasn't doing what I thought he was. What I saw in the mirror confirmed it. I lost it. I began to scream and struggled to my knees, desperate to get away. I felt him shift behind me. "I thought I told you NOT TO SCREAM!" I felt his hand grab me roughly by the back of my head.

I took a deep breath and screamed at the top of my lungs. 'NO!!!!!!!!!!!" Suddenly his grip on my head tightened and he shoved my face down into the mattress. My nose bent uncomfortably, shooting more pain across my face. I hadn't had a chance to close my eyes before he jammed my face into the bed, and my eyes were burning as tiny fibres from the comforter got into my eyes.

I couldn't breathe.

I began to panic. I couldn't get any air. I tried to struggle to get my face away from the bed to get some air, but I heard him scream something else unintelligible and push my face even harder into the bed.

My lungs felt like they were going to burst. I began to see dark spots appear and I realized I was going to die. I lost all the strength I had to fight and began to submit to the quiet oblivion that was beckoning me.

Then his handlet go of my head. I felt one more stab of pain as I pulled my face up, gasping air into my lungs. I lay my head back down on the bed, my face to the side, towards the mirror. My vision was still very blurry, but I could see him moving away towards the door. The door shut, and I lay completely still for what seemed like hours, but was probably only a few minutes. I finally regained my wind, and then burst into tears again. Huge, wracking wails that jolted my entire body where it lay. This caused only more pain, and I gasped again.

After a small amount of time, I tried to sit up, but this caused even worse pain. I screamed, and then nearly had a heart attack as the door burst open again and my father strode into the room. He walked over to the foot of the bed where I was sitting and bent down to my level. I shrank backwards as best I could. He wasn't going to hurt me again, was he?

"Angela, your mother will be home with Brian from the school soon. I want you dressed and in your room. I will tell her that you are upset about what happened at school. I will tell her the exact truth of what happened there. You are not to tell her anything about what just happened here. If you do, she will think you are a slut, just like the other girls at school. Not. A. Word. Understand? To anyone. Are we clear?"

I could do nothing but nod, my face screwed up as I fought the urge to vomit.

"Good. Now, get dressed, as I said. We will decide what to do about the situation at school later." With that, he turned and left the room again.

I gingerly got to be feet and carefully put my clothes back on. As I carefully put my pants back on I pulled my hand back and saw there was blood on my fingers. I ran to my room, slammed the door, and then lay on my bed, sobbing into my pillow.

A short time later I heard the front door of the apartment open. Mom and Brian were home.

Oh, God, what was I going to do? I couldn't tell them what had happened. Dad was right. They would think I was horrible.

I was all alone on this.

"Angela had a really bad day at school today," I heard my father saying, "it's nothing serious but I think we should let her be for now. I'll tell you what happened while we get dinner ready."

So I lay there, shivering and fighting to keep from going insane. I couldn't look this upset, or else my mother would suspect that something more was wrong than just school bullying.

Eventually, somehow, I managed to get myself calmed down to a point that my mother wouldn't suspect a thing beyond the Sarah and Tara incident.

"Angela, honey, I know you're upset but can you come out for dinner?" I heard my mother call through the door. "We can talk about it after supper. I promise everything will be okay."

I took a deep breath. "Okay, I'll be right out."

I should have said something then. I know that now. I could have ended it right then and there had my father not manipulated me into scared silence.

Things were about to get much, much worse in the months to come.


	4. Dirty Laundry

Chapter 4

Dirty Laundry

I left my bedroom and, acting as normally as I could, sat at the dinner table with my mother, brother, and father. My mother smiled and tried to look supportive of me. Brian seemed unaware that anything out of the ordinary was happening. He focused his attention entirely on the dinner plate in front of him. My father simply stared at me, but I got the nonverbal message in his eyes loud and clear: Say nothing. I looked back at my mother, held her gaze for a few moments, then started trying to eat my dinner.

It tasted like plastic. No, it tasted like carpet. Actually, it tasted like nothing. Not that my mother's cooking was bad. On the contrary, it often was quite good. However, right now it seemed like my tongue wasn't working quite right.

Now that I thought about it, nothing looked quite right either. Or smelled right. Or felt right. My senses seemed to be really messed up. I felt eyes on me and looked up to see my mother still staring at me. Uncomfortable, I shifted in my seat. A jolt of pain shot up my spine as I did this, and I did my best not to flinch. I guess I didn't, because my mother didn't react as if I had, and looked down at her dinner plate. I cast a quick glance at my father, and I knew he had seen the flinch.

My heart skipped a beat. I was terrified. I didn't want to provoke him. Worse, I didn't want my mother to find out what had happened. I quickly looked down and tried to finish my dinner as fast as I could. I almost was finished when suddenly the food became too much for me and my stomach began to churn. I excused myself from the table and started quickly back towards my room. I needed to lie down. Quickly.

As I was about to throw myself onto the bed I heard my mother's voice from the doorway. "Angela?"

I stopped just short of my bed, braced myself, and turned around, praying that I looked like nothing more was wrong than what my mother thought was the matter.

"Angela, your father told me all about what happened at school today."

Bullshit, I thought.

"I just want you to know I'm not mad at you for getting upset and leaving. Those girls are to blame, not you. I'm going to call Miss White tonight and arrange for us to have a meeting with these two girls tomorrow. What were their names? Tara and Sarah?"

I almost burst into tears. I couldn't face them right now, not after what had happened just now. "No!" I shouted before I could stop myself. My mother looked taken aback. "I don't want to see them! I don't want to see Miss White! I never want to go back there ever again!" Shut up shut up shut up, I kept telling myself. It was too late, though. I had to let some of it out. "They're evil and I wish they would die!"

"Angela! That's enough!" My mother said loudly, but not angrily. "You don't mean things like that! You have to go back to school, Angela. Don't worry, once Miss White hears what happened I am sure that she'll put the fear of God into those awful girls. You leave this to me, Angela. Trust me, everything will be alright."

With that, my mother turned and left the room. As her form moved out of the doorway, I saw my father standing there. He stared at me for a few moments, then shut my door.

I lay on my bed and trembled. I listened to the sounds of my family going about the rest of their evening activities. At one point I heard the muffled sound of my mother on the telephone, presumably talking to Christine White, my principal, arranging the meeting for tomorrow.

Finally, silence descended on the entire apartment. Everyone must have gone to bed. I looked at the clock on my bedside table and saw that I had been lying here for three hours. It was time to go to bed.

I went to bed without changing into my pajamas or brushing my teeth.

I woke up at a few minutes after one. I usually didn't sleep in this late, but I guess I was exhausted from the previous day's.....experiences.

One o'clock? I guess my mother knew well enough to not try and send me to school today. She must have scheduled the meeting for later on today. I was not looking forward to this at all. However, if I made too much of a fuss about things my mother might see through me and realize there was much more upsetting me than just that. I had better just go along with this. And if things were straightened up at school, all the better. It would make one bad thing alright so I could focus on dealing with the other......badder thing that had happened to me.

I got up, cringing as my clothes stuck to me. I shouldn't have gone to bed without changing. I walked to my closet and was about to change when a thought struck me.

I couldn't let my mother wash these clothes.

How was I going to avoid her doing this, though? She would insist on me showering and changing, for hygiene reasons. I couldn't insist on cleaning them myself, because that would set off alarms in her head as well. I began to panic. What was I going to do?

I heard my mother showering in the bathroom. This would buy me some time. I changed into my pajamas, so my mother wouldn't get suspicious, then snuck out of the room, my dirty clothes in hand.

I left the apartment and snuck down the hall to the laundry room. I opened the garbage chute and tossed the clothes down it. As they fell out of sight, I wondered what the hell had I just done? This accomplished nothing. My mother knew what I had been wearing yesterday, and would notice the clothes were missing.

Shit, shit, shit! I couldn't stand here any longer. And I didn't have any time to run downstairs and outside to the dumpster the trash chute led to. My mother might be out of the shower anytime. Even if I had time, if one of my neighbors caught me digging around in a dumpster in my pajamas, that would do me no favors.

I ran back to the apartment, making sure to lock the front door behind me. My mother was still in the shower. I jumped back into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. A short time later the shower stopped, and eventually I heard the door open and my mother entered the room. I pretended to be asleep.

"Angela?" My mother said, gently shaking my shoulder. "Honey, time to get up."

I pretended to act all bleary and sleepy. I was sure my mother would call my bluff, but I guess I'm a better actress than I thought, because my mother explained that she let me stay home from school and that we were going to meet with Miss White later that day to talk about what had happened yesterday.

Fuck.

"Okay, Mama," I said, stretching and making a big show of looking tired.

"You get up and watch TV or something. Just take it easy today, okay? I'm going to go do the laundry and when I come back I'll make you something to eat."

I froze. She was going to notice the missing clothes. I tried to think of some clever plan to get out of this, but I couldn't. Nothing I could do but hope she didn't notice, and act dumb if she did.

I turned on the TV and pretended to lose myself in some dumb cartoon. What I actually focused on was trying not to lose it completely. How had my life gone so suddenly wrong in one day? God. One day. It felt like an eternity.

The apartment door opened. I tried not to scream. "Angela, where are the clothes you wore yesterday?"

I tried to act natural. "I dropped them in the basket. Why?"

"Because I can't find them. Are you sure you dropped them in the basket?"

"Yes."

"When? I don't remember seeing you come out of your room last night."

"I, uh, I came out after you went to bed. I had some thinking to do, so I stayed up late last night."

My mother studied my face intently for a moment. "Alright. If you say so. But where did they go?"

"No idea."

My mother frowned, then closed the door and returned to the laundry room. I sat back down on the couch and tried to stop my knees from trembling.

When my mother came back from the laundry, I could see she was still confused, but she didn't press me about it anymore. I thought I was off the hook. I breathed a small sigh of relief. She told me to shower and get dressed, so I did.

I took extra time in the shower, trying to wash off all the dirt, real and imagined. My vision swam as I gingerly tried to wash.....well, you don't need to hear that. I managed to keep from fainting or throwing up, and went through the rest of the day without giving my mother any indication that something was wrong, other than what she already knew.

At four o'clock mother told me to put my shoes on. It was time to go meet with Miss White at the school.

I tried to act unfazed, but I knew this was going to be too much.

I had no idea.


	5. Confrontation

Chapter 5

Confrontation

As we drove to the school, my mother tried to make small talk about some new movie that was coming out soon, but I wasn't listening. All I could keep thinking was that I was going to have to go back into that horrible place, and see those two horrible girls.

Regardless of how much my mother and Miss White told Tara and Sarah to eave me alone and even if they were punished for it, it would not fix things. It would make them worse. Adults never seemed to get that.

Nothing I could do to stop this now, though. I didn't have the energy to try, anyway. All I could do at this point was ride it out and hope for the best.

We arrived at the school, and thankfully there were only a few student still hanging around, most waiting to be picked up by their parents. When they saw me they stopped what they were doing and stared at me, looking away quickly when I met their eyes. Those who were in groups whispered to each other as we walked by.

I recognized them, but didn't know any of them. They seemed to know of me, though.

My mother didn't notice any of this.

We walked up to the reception counter, and my mother informed the secretary (whose name I forget) that we had an appointment with Miss White. She told us to go right in, that she was expecting us.

Miss White's office, according what I've heard, used to be the teacher's lounge, but it was barely used because all the teachers preferred to congregate in Ken Gordon's classroom. She turned it into her office about six years before, but Gordon died shortly after she did this. The rumors are that he was butchered in his garage, but no one really talks about it much. Some kids who were walking home from a movie late last August said they saw a police car from Brahms, a nearby town, and Miss White's car parked at the school. People started wondering if maybe Gordon's murder had been solved, or if there were any new developments, but nothing was mentioned. Miss White seemed visibly troubled about something for months afterwards though, and even now still acted odd, especially when dealing with bullying at the school.

Recalling this, I began to wonder how she would respond to what Tara and Sarah had said.

Miss White looked up from her desk. "Hello, Angela," she smiled sweetly. "Mrs. Orosco," she said to my mother. "Thank you so much for coming. Please, sit down." She gestured to two comfortable-looking armchairs in front of her desk. A remnant from the teacher's lounge, no doubt.

Tara and Sarah were nowhere to be seen.

"Don't thank us," my mother said, taking a seat. "Thank you for agreeing to see us. Angela is terribly upset about the vile things those two little brats said about her. I certainly hope you plan to do something about this."

"We here at Midwich Elementary take bullying very seriously, Mrs. Orosco, I assure you."

"Please, call me Veronica." My mother said. "Where are the two girls, anyway? You had told me on the phone that we would all be meeting to discuss the incident."

"They should be here soon. I have already spoken to their mothers and they have agreed to bring them here. I am sure they will arrive any minute."

No sooner did she say this that a knock on the office door was heard. The door opened, and both Tara and Sarah entered, looking all repentant and sad, followed closely behind by their mothers.

Miss White stood up and crossed the room to greet them. "Mrs. Baker, Mrs. Munn. Thank you so much for coming. I apologize, but there is simply not enough room in here to accomodate all of us. Would you mind waiting outside for a little bit while I speak to the girls and Mrs. Orosco? I'll call you in to speak with you and Mrs. Orosco alone shortly."

Mrs. Munn complied quietly, but Mrs. Baker sniffed. "I don't even know why we're here. I heard what you told me on the phone, and my daughter simply would not say anything like that. She's a good girl, and you're wasting your time. That girl," she pointed at me, "is lying."

"Excuse me?" My mother replied defensively. "My daughter is not---"

"Please." Miss White interrupted, holding her hand up to silence them. "Mr.s Baker, I promise you that there will be plenty of opportunities for you to plead your daughter's case in a little while. For now, I really need to speak with the girls and Mrs. Orosco alone."

Mrs. Baker glared at my mother and me, then turned and left the room, leaving Tara and Sarah, still all innocence and piety, alone with us. Miss White told them to take a seat on the couch against the wall, to the right of where my mother and I sat. She took a seat on the couch opposite the girls. "Angela, Veronica, if you could both turn the chairs around to face us, please, we can all discuss this matter."

We did, and as soon as we were seated again, Miss White looked at me. "Angela, would you please begin by telling us exactly what happened yesterday afternoon?"

I took a deep breath and, as calmly as I could, I told them everything that had happened from the time I decided to try and make a friend to when I ran out of the school and phoned my father to come get me.

Of course, I left it at that.

As soon as I was finished, my mother crossed her arms and glowered at Tara and Sarah. They both shrank into the couch as they took in the hateful glare.

"Thank you, Angela. That's exactly what your mother told me on the phone. Tara, Sarah, what do you have to say for yourselves?"

They looked at each other, and I knew they were deciding whether or not to try and lie about it, or fess up and face the consequences. They chose the latter. "I'm really sorry, Miss White. We really didn't mean for it to blow up like this," Sarah said. "We only did it because Tara likes Billy, and she was angry at Angela for trying to compete with her for him." Tara nodded, her eyes on her hands, which were folded on her lap.

"What?!" I cried. "I was not competing with you for William's attention! I don't like him like....like that. I just wanted a friend."

Tara looked up at me, tears in her eyes. "I know that now, Angela. I overreacted. It was stupid and mean of me. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you the way I did."

Miss White smiled. "Well, that seems to sort all of this out. Thank you, Angela, Tara, Sarah. If you'll excuse us now I'd like to speak with your mothers briefly, alone."

She led us out of her office and into the courtyard, where Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Munn sat on a bench, talking. She led them back into the school, leaving me alone in the courtyard with Sarah and Tara. There were no other students in sight.

The two of them glared at me. Their eyes were so full of rage, I actually became frightened. I turned and walked across the courtyard to the large clock tower nestled in the corner. I sat on the steps outside it, and hoped they'd leave me alone.

They didn't.

I watched as they strode over to where I sat. They stood looming above me, boxing me into the corner.

"You dumb fucking little bitch." Tara snarled.

"Do you have any idea what you've done?" Sarah said. "The trouble that you have gotten us into?"

"You should have kept your mouth shut. You have made things so much worse for yourself now. And, if you squeal on us again, you'll really regret it."

With that, Sarah spat in my face. The two turned and crossed the courtyard, taking their seats on the bench. I wiped the spit off my cheek, then curled my knees up to my chest and tried not to burst into tears.

"Let's go out to the swings. I'm sick of looking at the slut." Tara said, loudly enough for me to hear a few minutes later. The two stood and left the courtyard. I kept my face buried in my lap. If anyone saw me like this I'd simply tell them that remembering the incident had upset me.

Minutes that felt like hours passed. As I began to wonder if Miss White or my mother would ever come find me, I heard the crunch of a footstep in front of me.

I lifted my head, and gasped when I saw a girl standing in front of me. She looked a little younger than me, and she had short black hair, much like mine. She had a few bruises on her face, and her eyes looked incredibly sad. I didn't recognize her. "Who are you?"

The little girl didn't respond. She turned on her heels and ran across the courtyard, vanishing through the doors into the school.

I stood up and followed her, but the hallway of the school was deserted. I walked over the the reception desk and asked the secretary if she had seen the girl run past here. "Little girl? No, I saw Tara and Sarah leave out the front doors, but I didn't see anyone else."

Miss White's office door opened and Mrs. Baker and Mrs. Munn exited. The secretary told them where the girls were, and Mrs. Munn and Mrs. Baker made their way toward the front door. As she passed me, Mrs. Baker paused for a moment. "I'm sorry," she said softly. Then she continued for the door. Miss White poked her head out of her office and called me in. I took a seat in the same chair I had before.

"Angela, Tara and Sarah are both going to be grounded for a month at home, and they also have detention for two weeks during recess here. Let me apologize once again for the horrible things they said to you." She smiled at me. "Oh, my sweetie, you remind me so much of her...." She stopped in midsentence. "I'm sorry. Angela, Veronica, thank you for coming. I hope to see you back with us again tomorrow, Angela." I nodded, confused by what she had said.

My mother and I left the school, and headed for home. I had to pretend that I was okay again, now that my mother thought things were all fine-and-dandy, as she put it.

The sky was dark and full of rain clouds.


End file.
